I exit through the door one last time,
The charade of hugs and kisses finally over.
We say our goodbyes and "I love you"s,
When in reality we cannot wait to escape.
Tears are shed but none on my part,
For I can only dream of letting the salty water run down my cheeks.
I force a smile to my lips as we wave adieu,
But how can I be happy with the knowledge that I have obtained?
For you see, my home is no longer home.
This land that was once a familiar comfort,
A wonderland escape from my current area of residence,
My true home when I leave.
But now it is no longer my safe haven,
It no longer embraces me like a mother's hug,
It no longer provides me with a peace of mind,
I am truly alienated from this place.
A loneliness that I have never felt before has swamped my very senses,
Leaving me feeling cold and naked.
I try to shed tears for my lost home,
But I cannot muster the strength to break free of this wretched emptiness.
The hole that used to be filled with the happiness of being here has been left bare,
A hollowed area within my chest that is now raw and open for all to see.
Please, something come along and ease this aching,
This longing for a place to call my own.
I am now but a wanderer,
In search of a home.
A place to call my own.
A land that fulfills my desire for wonder and bliss.
One where I can close my eyes and feel right with this world,
One where with every breath I feel satisfied, in no more want of anything more.
A place that provides me with serenity,
One that I do not wish to run away from.
Where, where can I find this mystical land?
Will there ever be a place for me?
Or am I doomed to forever travel this world,
Always seeking that which will never be mine?
A place that accepts me.
Will I ever find one?
Or is it just not meant to be?